If there is one thing I wish for you it is to grab hold of the following verses that God gives us and NEVER let them go:
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
– 1 Peter 3:1-6
I realize these verses were written to “wives” but there is a lot that we can take from these verses that apply to all of you. I want you to grab hold of these truths:
- Purity and reverence work better then degrading and nagging. 1 Peter 3:1,2 (Married Women) You can’t nag and degrade your husband into the Kingdom. He won’t become the spiritual leader or the “man he should be” because you run him down all the time. Try encouragement and living the life of Christ in front of him. For some of you that seems impossible. Be encouraged that God will not ask us to do something He does not give us the ability to do. Is it easy? NO! Is it possible through God’s grace? YES! CAUTION: If you are in an abusive relationship GET OUT! You are not called to stay in that situation. You need to get out of the situation and notify those who can help you and protect you. (We are glad to help email us at firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Don’t settle for the frog. (This one is for the unmarried). The best way for you to avoid #1 is not to marry #2! (That’s pretty funny I don’t care who you are.) If you are in Christ you are daughters of the King of kings. You have been brought into the “royal priesthood” (1 Peter 2:9). That means you should marry royalty. Wait on your prince! So am I saying the princess and the prince should get married? It’s OK the Bible says we were “adopted.” . CAUTION: If you are already married the Bible says you should stay as you are. (1 Corinthians 7:12-24) Pray that God will use you to bring your spouse to the Lord and that He will give you the strength to patiently lead them to Him.
- Beauty is not found in the beholder it is found in Christ. (1 Peter 3:3,4) Your beauty comes from the fact that Jesus lives in you. It is the fruit of this reality (the radiance of His glory in you, a gentle, peaceful, and quiet spirit) that creates true beauty. Don’t look to anyone else to define beauty and don’t look to anyone else to confirm your beauty. It doesn’t come from what you put on the outside. It comes from the work of Christ on the inside. What does it matter what others think if God had already said that you, as a part of the bride of Christ (his church), are beautiful! It’s a beauty that cannot come from workouts, pills, make-up, haircuts, new clothes, the right guy, etc. Jesus has already said He loves you the way He created you. If the God of the Universe says that shouldn’t it be enough?
- Fish with the right bait. (Unmarried…but those married should glean from this as well) What you are trying to catch dictates what you fish with. Don’t chum the water if you don’t want to attract sharks. Are you more focused on your inner beauty that comes from a relationship with Jesus or showing enough skin to turn a guy’s head? Don’t bait for sharks and expect to catch your prince. True beauty doesn’t come from outward adornment but from the Spirit of Christ working in you. Inner beauty is of great worth to God. (1 Peter 3:4) Don’t settle for shallow beauty to please shallow people!
- Recognize the source of your satisfaction. This is HUGE for everyone! The reason many women go from man to man looking for “Mr. Right” is because they’ve never truly found their satisfaction in Christ and have yet to realize “Mr. Right” doesn’t exist. In fact, the Bible says we are ALL wrong. No man will ever satisfy your deepest longings! I hate to crush your romantic dreams but it is the truth. No man alive was created to satisfy your life. However, you were created to be satisfied in Christ. True satisfaction comes when your hope rest securely in Him. (1 Peter 3:5)
- Understand submission is not weakness. Submitting to God is not a sign of weakness. Neither is submitting to a godly man who is submitting to God. Marriage works when two people are first submitted to God and second submitted to each other. It is a two way street of respect and honor. In almost a decade of ministry I’ve never seen a marriage not work when both people were submitted to and pursuing Jesus. I know there has been some misunderstanding about this statement when I’ve made it before, so let me say it the way I mean it…I have never seen a marriage not work when both people were submitted to and pursuing Jesus. Get your relationship with Jesus right and all of your other relationships will follow. We have questions and struggles. God has an answer…Jesus!
I hope this encourages you wherever you are in life and relationships. Remember whose you are and remember what He says about you! Don’t live for others. Live for Him. Don’t let others determine your worth. People don’t die for people they don’t see as having no value. Jesus died for you. Why? He sees value in you. Let the confidence that comes from that fact guide and direct your life.
Heart and Soul!