A Letter Specifically To Single Women
Dear Single Women,
Yesterday I posted A Letter To Women and encouraged you to hold on to the truths in 1 Peter 3:1-6. Today I want to focus on single women and point number two “Don’t Settle For The Frog”. Specifically, I want to give you some tips on how to find a prince in a sea of frogs. Here’s a warning. Most of the time fairy tales don’t come true. If you marry a frog most likely that’s what you’re going to get. Wait on God to send you a prince. Someone who is the son of the King. Here are some questions you can ask to identify a prince.
- What is the fruit of his life? In Luke 6:43 Jesus tells us, “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.” He goes on to say, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.” In other words if the fruit of a guys life isn’t good then neither is his heart. Save yourself a lot of pain and get out NOW! Galatians 5:22-23 tells us, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Are these evident and growing in his life?
- How does he treat girls now? How does he treat you now? Does he treat you like a princess? Understand that if he doesn’t treat you with honor and respect now, while he’s supposedly “pursuing” you, he certainly won’t do it once he has you. If he’s a frog (aka jerk) now he isn’t going to magically change when he says, “I do”. Lose the jerk and wait on God to send your prince.
- Will he wait sexually? Let’s be honest. Waiting sexually isn’t easy for anyone. But it is worth it. It is safe to say that the guy is more likely to be the one who pushes for sex. I commonly hear comments like, “If I don’t get it I’ll die.” Really? I can guarantee you this has never been on a death certificate: “Cause of death…didn’t have sex!” Is this easy? No. Is it possible? Yes. I spent a lot of loooooooooong years waiting on my wife! Here’s the crazy part…I wasn’t even a Christian. But I knew the treasure I had and I knew she was worth waiting for. (One day I may elaborate on this part of my story. It would have to be with my wife’s permission!) Here’s the bottom line, if he’s not willing to wait, dump the frog and wait on a prince. If he sees you as the treasure you are he will wait. If not, you’re just a hook up and you’re too precious to God to settle for that. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a guy that sees you as a “hook up”? God has much better for you!
- What are his priorities? If Jesus isn’t the One that his life revolves around now He won’t be after cake and champagne. Don’t waste your life. Where does he spend his time? Where does he spend his money? Can he manage money? Does he have a job? All of these things are indicators of maturity and responsibility. You don’t need to end up with an immature mama’s boy who plays playstation all day and won’t take responsibility for his life. Find someone heading in the right direction…which leads me to the last point.
- Who or what is he following? Who or what he is following will determine how he leads and where you’re going to go. The quality of his leadership will be determined by who or what is leading him. Where do you want to go and how do you want to be led? If Jesus isn’t leading him then he can’t possibly lead you.
Reality check…He’s not going to be perfect. None of us are. Susan (my wife) will tell you I am far from perfection! However, he should be pursuing. He should be pursuing Jesus first and you second. If he’s not? The best thing you can do is move on trusting that God has a prince He is grooming for you. Remember, you are a daughter of the King and a princess deserves a prince. Don’t settle for a frog! God’s timing is not always on our schedule but it is perfect. Wait on Him. You’ll be glad you did!
Heart and Soul!